Two simple words…”I’m sorry.” Yet, when said from the heart with sincerity and love, they can be the very thing to not only save your marriage but take it to the next level.

All too often, I think we forget how important these two words are. We get caught up in “I’m right,” and forget that sometimes it isn’t about that. Every conflict has two sides with two perspectives and sets of feelings attached to it. Whether you are right about the topic or not, you played some part in the conflict getting to where it is. It can range from simply being sorry that you may have addresses the topic at an inconvenient time to you were completely wrong and flew off the handle. Wherever you fall along that spectrum, the important thing is to acknowledge your part (take responsibility, as I mentioned yesterday), and then dig deep into humility to muster up the most sincere apology possible.

While it can be challenging to humble ourselves, we cannot get caught up in the mentality that arguments are about winning. If you really want to “win,” then lose yourself in the concept of resolution and what is best for the marriage itself. In Matthew 20:16, it says how the last will be first and the first will be last. If you are caught up in being “first” and winning, you and your marriage are going to finish last. There isn’t room for selfish pride in a marriage because the whole concept of marriage is to put someone else before ourselves. What a powerful way to live.

The next time you find yourself in an argument, fight, or conflict with your spouse or significant other, try to remember to show them some respect, work toward a resolution as a team tackling the same problem, take responsibility for your part in the issues at hand, and then apologize for anything that you could have done better. While conflict is never necessarily fun or easy, if you learn to communicate effectively, work together, and humble yourself, you will find that you are not only coming up with solutions but growing closer together through those tough times.

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Author : Ashley McIlwain

Ashley McIlwain, M.A., is a Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and writer. She is the founder and C.E.O. of the non-profit organization, Foundation Restoration, and blog LittleWifey.com, which are comprehensive resources committed to restoring the very foundation of society – marriage. She is committed to and passionate about helping relationships thrive. In the past Ashley acted as Managing Editor for StartMarriageRight.com where she helped launch and develop the website into a hub for premarital preparation. Ashley holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Palm Beach Atlantic University and a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy from Azusa Pacific University. Currently she and her husband, Steve, reside in Southern California.