Posts Tagged ‘engaged’

Quote of the Day

Monday, October 5th, 2015

Amazing marriages happen when two people are wholeheartedly engaged inside their covenant relationship. –Dr. Greg Smalley

(c)Dillon Photography (c)Foundation Restoration

Talking Tuesday

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

TalkingTuesdayShare your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:

When is your anniversary, and how long have you been married for? If you’re engaged, when is your big day, and how long have you been together? If you’re dating, how long have you been with your significant other?

I’ll get us started …

Steve’s and my anniversary is September 13th, and this year will be 6 years together! It’s been the best 6 years of my life!

Okay, it’s your turn!

Talking Tuesday Weekly Announcement REVISEDIf you have a question you would like to see asked in our weekly Talking Tuesday discussions, we want to know what it is! Just contact us with your idea!

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Talking Tuesday

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Share your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:

If you are married or about to be – How long did you and your spouse/fiancé date before getting married? Why?

If you are dating or single – Do you have any idea of how long you want or think you should date before getting married? Why?

I’ll get us started …

Steve and I dated for one year before getting engaged, and then we had a year-long engagement before getting married. Honestly, I always believed in dating for two years minimum before even getting engaged because of the infatuation stage, but Steve and I both had unique paths to our relationship, which led us to be abundantly clear that we were the right fit for each other.

Everyone has their different opinions about how long couples should date before getting married including researchers. My biggest point of emphasis to couples about when to know it is time to take that next step into marriage is to make sure you have gone beyond the feelings. It’s so important to delve into the relationship at a deeper level to explore if the two of you are compatible for the long haul. Marriage can be the greatest gift, but too many people are going into marriage on an emotional high instead of a practical, prayed-up, strong foundation, which is a big reason why so many of them end. It’s all about preparation and confirmation.

You’re turn!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Start Marriage Right Launch Party

Monday, April 4th, 2011

As many of you know, awhile back Moody Publishers approached me regarding a project they were working on alongside of other premiere partners like The Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) and Wedding Pastors USA. The goal was to get a website started that would provide a resource for preparing and equipping people for marriage. They asked me to step in as Managing Editor for it, and I quickly agreed once I learned of their vision.

With divorce rates high, marriages are an area in desperate need of change and assistance. A huge part of getting marriages back on track is stepping in to provide guidance, direction, and support before people even say, “I do.” Great marriages start long before the wedding day, which is where StartMarriageRight.com comes in.

StartMarriageRight.com is a resource that is specifically for those who are single, dating, engaged, or newly married and looking to prepare themselves for not just a wedding day, but a lifelong, fulfilling marriage. The tagline we use for this project is, “Your Wedding Day is Just The Beginning.” How true that is.

Since we got the website up and running back in August of 2010, it has been steadily growing. It’s obvious there was a need for a resource like this. Working alongside of experts like Dr. Gary Chapman and Tony Evans, StartMarriageRight.com has been progressing into the must-see website for anyone looking for insightful, fresh information on making marriages work. We share articles and blogs on topics ranging from sex to money to faith to family.

It’s been exciting to work on this project and see it go from nothing to something really extraordinary. It aligns itself so perfectly with my passion for marriages and the work I do with my own non-profit organization, Foundation Restoration (which brings you Little Wifey), that it has been very fulfilling to step in as Managing Editor.

So, it is with extreme pride and excitement that I get to share with you about the official launch of StartMarriageRight.com. Starting today, April 4th, and continuing through April 15th, there will be a launch party open to everyone with some amazing articles and giveaways, including items like a Keurig coffee brewing system, David’s Bridal gift cards, Tom’s shoes, 31Bits jewelry, date night gift packs, and much, much more.

Trust me when I say you do not want to miss out on this fun and exciting two-week event! Check it out at http://www.startmarriageright.com/.

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Start Marriage Right

Monday, November 8th, 2010

As many of you know through various means of communication, I have taken on another endeavor where I can put my passion to help marriages and relationships to further use. In addition to Little Wifey (part of my non-profit organization Foundation Restoration), I am Managing Editor for a premarital focused webzine called Start Marriage Right that partners with some heavy hitters like Moody Publishers as well as AMFM called Start Marriage Right.

This webzine is a wonderful resource for those who are single, dating, or engaged to get articles and information specific to their stage of life. Personally, I compose several articles and blog entries each week on topics related specifically to this audience. There are several other, well-known authors who guest write for the webzine, bringing forth important and pertinent information. Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times bestselling author of The Five Love Languages, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, among many other titles and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., has a weekly Q & A where he answers questions submitted by the readers. All around, there is a lot to peruse and explore to enrich your life and relationships, as well as equip you for the future chapters of your life as a married individual.

Start Marriage Right is a project that I am beyond honored to get to work with. It touches on subjects that are so important to an audience that is so often neglected, overlooked, or ignored. I write this to encourage you to swing by to explore all that it has to offer. I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback on it! We are very open to hearing what you have to say so that we can make the experience that much better and tailored to meeting your needs. Same goes for Little Wifey; this resource is for you, so please share with me how it can be most useful and helpful to you, and I will always do my best to accommodate that!

Enjoy and be blessed!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Things I Wish I’d Known

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Yesterday, Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times bestselling author of The Five Love Languages, released his new book Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married. This book is one that is both engaging and informative. There is such a need for resources out there to help couples not just prepare for a wedding but to prepare for their marriage, which is why this book is so incredible. Dr. Chapman has once again blessed us with a well-written, down-to-earth, practical book that is sure to help anyone single, dating, or engaged to start their marriage off on the right foot!

 

Here is more about the book:

“Wish you could know what you’re getting into when you said ‘I do’? Now, with Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, you can.

Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Five Love Languages, has spent the last thirty-five years counseling couples. In Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, he shares what he and these couples have learned from experience. Among the twelve things you should know:

  • that being in love is not enough to make a successful marriage
  • that romantic love has two stages (and how to make the transition)
  • that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic
  • that personality profoundly affects behavior

The stakes on marriage are high, but the rewards of preparing are even higher. Whether you’re single or dating, this book can be your relationship blueprint and help you decide if and when you’re ready to tie the knot. If you’re engaged, even recently married, it will help you examine your relationship foundation and learn the skills necessary for building a successful marriage.

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married was written to help you realize your goal of marital happiness. But don’t just read it–experience it. Grapple with the practical tips and ideas discussed, honestly share your thoughts and feelings, respect each other’s opinions, and find workable solutions to your differences. The more you do so, says Chapman, the more you will be prepared for marriage.

 

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Singled Out: Introduction #2

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Currently we are in a series called “Singled Out,” which is all about helping people who are single, dating, or engaged know what they need to know to prepare for marriage no matter how far off that might be. Last week we looked at real questions from real individuals and provided some answers. This week I am excited to introduce a new contributing writer who is not only a wonderful person and friend but also intelligent, insightful, beautiful, and all around rock-solid. Currently she attends Azusa Pacific University where is working on a degree in Journalism and TV Production. Ashlee has begun tackling writing original pieces for Little Wifey and has also started working on various video projects. This week she will be writing articles pertaining to her view and personal experience related to the life of someone who is single, dating, or engaged. Make sure you check it out and give me some feedback! And here is the video she put together for “Singled Out”…
 

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Singled Out: Questions Day #4

Friday, July 16th, 2010

Photo Courtesy of Jessica Lorren Photography

We asked people who were single, dating, or engaged what questions they had about relationships, single life, and getting married. Here are the questions with some answers…

 Why does the church go around the real (dirt) issues of dating?

Why is it that those in the church date just as recklessly and without regard than those outside of the church?

I feel like these two questions go hand-in-hand. Having grown up in the Christian church, it is amazing to me to look back in hindsight and realize just how little dating, relationships, and marriage were discussed in the church. It is almost as if it is assumed everyone will figure it out on their own, but I think there is also a degree of avoidance within the church to discuss dating and marital preparation in the church.

Unfortunately I believe a serious concern for the Christian churches today is getting caught up in being politically correct and not stepping on anyone’s toes. This is scary territory for Christians to enter; when we know the truth but don’t want to hear it, accept it, or share it. In 2 Timothy 4:3, the Bible says “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” The Bible is very clear on a lot of issues, but sometimes it is hard to say what needs to be said, especially when it’s not the popular thing to say. I think this is why the church avoids addressing dating as a Christian. Flat out, the church needs to address and tackle those real issues of dating though – pre-marital sex, sexuality, healthy dating, what to be looking for, the Christian model of marriage, etc. 

That leads me to the question of why Christians date as recklessly as those outside of the church. One thing is the lack of education in the church for Christian singles to know what healthy dating looks like. Unfortunately too, a lot of people are growing up in broken homes and lack the parental example and advice to know how to date. The divorce rates in and out of the church are the same sadly enough, which means that Christian youth aren’t getting any more of a great example of what a healthy marriage and relationship are than those outside of the church. Additionally, the societal pressures and influences are only growing more strongly in the direction of reckless dating and relationships. Singles are now thinking it’s the cool thing to be promiscuous, careless, and exploratory during those dating years. All around there is a general lack of positive and healthy education, examples, and influences for singles.

The bottom line is that Christians need to step up in the dating and marital scene. Churches need to get beyond their concern to be politically correct and start educating and tackling the tough, very real issues of dating and marriage. Married Christians need to start applying the amazing guidelines and example of Christ to their marriages to show singles and the rest of the world what marriage can be. Christian singles need to practice self-control and restraint to set themselves and their marriages up for the ultimate success. I do believe that Christians have a secret weapon to tackle all stages of life, but so many of us turn our backs on that because it’s not always the easy or popular thing to do. That being said…we need to do it!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Singled Out: Questions Day #3

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Photo Courtesy of Jessica Lorren Photography

We asked people who were single, dating, or engaged what questions they had about relationships, single life, and getting married. Here are the questions with some answers…

How do I know if my boyfriend or girlfriend is the one?

This is one of the most common questions that I hear. This is a pretty loaded question because there are several components to being able to answer that question. The truth is that there isn’t one definitive thing to know for sure that the person you are with is “the one.” While I can give you some guidance in answering that question, you are the only one who can really know and decide if the person you are with is the right one for you.

There is no sure-fire way of knowing if the person you are with is the best fit for you, but there are several ways to help you come to the right conclusion. The first thing I always tell people in their journey to finding their spouse is to be in prayer over it. While there is no substitute for you doing your own heavy-lifting to figure out if your significant other is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, prayer is a powerful tool in guiding you. For me, it was praying for God’s perfect wisdom and will in my life that led me to ultimately making the best decision about the person I would be with for my years here on Earth. Pray for God’s wisdom, guidance, and discernment.

Perhaps the most important and logical way to knowing if the person you are with is “the one” is to pull out that “checklist” I talked about in yesterday’s entry. Each person has to figure out what it is they are looking for and need in a lifelong partner. For me, my non-negotiables were: he is a Christian man, full of integrity & trustworthy, goal oriented, brings out the best in me, and loves to laugh and have fun/great personality, attractive, my family loved him & vice versa. We had to be on the same page with how many kids we wanted, life goals, expectations of marriage & each other, political views, etc. I knew what I wanted and needed in a husband, and keeping those things in mind, I was able to determine if my husband was the one for me…and he was! I had never really thought about those things though prior to him, and that got me in some serious trouble that nearly led to a disastrous lifelong situation for me. That’s why I emphasize this step because it is so vitally important to the rest of your life as well as to the lives of any children you might have. It’s much easier to do all of this “work” before you get married. Time and time again you see people force relationships they know they shouldn’t be in and then end up getting a divorce, which is a much more painful, messy, and difficult situation than a pre-marital break-up. Make sure you know what you want and need in a spouse and use that to help you screen and determine if the person you are with measures up.

Another important aspect to keep in mind when you are dating and determining if someone is the best match for you is to go with your “gut feeling.” I had relationships where I had those little red flags in my mind and that gut feeling that this was not the life I wanted, and yet I ignored them for far too long. Those gut feelings are there for a reason, and if you are seriously struggling with the question of whether or not your significant other is the one for you, you most likely have your answer right there. Your family and friends are good cues too. Are they encouraging your relationship or are they skeptical and concerned? While it’s ultimately your decision, the loved ones in your life are there to help you, and they just might be seeing something you aren’t. Take their thoughts, comments, and advice into consideration. Your spouse should be someone that brings out the best in you, is your best friend, that compliments & balances out who you are, and that you can definitively and absolutely say is the best match for you!

We over-complicate this process because we often try to take a decent or poor fit for us and make them the best fit for us. We hope they will change, that the relationships will get better over time, and we end up settling for second best, which usually only gets worse over time. The truth is that while every single relationship in the world will require an immense amount of work and effort to keep it thriving and successful, there is a big difference between surviving in a relationship and thriving. Don’t settle for survival when you don’t have to!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Singled Out: Questions Day #2

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

 

Photo Courtesy of Jessica Lorren Photography

 

We asked people who were single, dating, or engaged what questions they had about relationships, single life, and getting married. Here are the questions with some answers…

What should I be looking for in a spouse?

This is a very common question among individuals who aren’t married, and quite frankly, it’s a good one. I wish everyone were asking themselves this before they even enter into the dating scene because it is a very important question to bother asking yourself and eventually knowing the answer to.

While sometimes you “just know” with someone, the reality is that it is extremely important to know what you are looking for in your spouse. Often times that “we just knew” feeling comes from people who truly did know what they needed and were looking for, so it was clear when they saw someone who possessed all the important things they had outlined already for themselves. Of course there is flexibility in that “checklist” you create, but it’s good to have a nice framework to work from. More so than what he/she should look like, you should know who you need that person to be in order to bring out the best in you and ultimately them. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What kinds of qualities and characteristics are important to me in a spouse?
  • What are my non-negotiables for my future spouse?
  • What are some things that are ideal but flexible?
  • What kind of belief/value system do I want my spouse to have?
  • How would I like to be treated?
  • What things can I absolutely not contend with in a spouse (habits, personality traits, etc.)?

Also ask yourself questions pertaining to your own personal goals, hopes, expectations, values, etc. These are often hot button issues that can cause a lot of problems in a marriage if you are not on the same page or in agreement on.

  • Is it important for my family to get along with my spouse?
  • How many kids do I want us to have?
  • Where do I want us to live?
  • What religion and political views do I want to dictate the functioning of our home and family?
  • What roles do I think a husband and a wife should fulfill in a marriage?

It is super important to be formulating what you want and need in a spouse long before you even have anyone in mind. This list can fluctuate and change as you grow and develop, but it is crucial to have a jumping off point. When you start dating you will add to, take away from, and further develop and solidify your wants and needs for your spouse and future together. Keep in mind though that this is not to be a mile long checklist of do’s and don’ts. It’s just a good framework to guide you through the dating process, keep you focused, and set you up for the best success in selecting your lifelong best friend and partner. You are the expert in what you are looking for and need in that person, so sit down and ask yourself those infinitely significant and vital questions; it will help you out tremendously in the long run.

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