It’s natural that over time, some of the sizzle of the marriage can fade. Life has a way of dragging us in every direction except in the direction of our spouse (and family). Naturally if you are spending more time on other things and less time with one another, the connection between the two of you can start to diminish over time. Time and time again you hear of couples who say they just “grew apart” or “fell out of love.” Time can definitely do that to a marriage, which is why it’s up to you to keep that from happening. Grow together, not apart!
Having an amazing, happy, and fulfilling marriage is a full time job. It’s a choice you make each and every day over and over again. It requires work, effort, commitment, love, forgiveness, self control, and a who lot more. Love in a marriage doesn’t always feel good or stay blazing strong either. Things aren’t just always going to be wonderful and happy. Every couple has its issues, problems, fights, and frustrations. The difference between a successful marriage and one that is falling apart isn’t that the successful one doesn’t have problems. The difference is the successful marriage has two people doing their best to deal with the problems and remain committed to the covenant they entered into.
One of the first steps in growing together rather than apart is to set goals. Sit down together and figure out what you want your marriage to look like, what you want in your life together, what you individually are hoping to accomplish, etc. Establish goals for your marriage; it gets you looking in the the same direction for your future. It also helps give you a tentative game plan to work toward together, which can keep you focused and on course. Teammates need each other to get the win, and marriages are very similar. So many couples make plans and set goals when they are dating or when they first get married but then just forget about them, don’t check in on where you are at, or don’t make new ones. If you want your marriage to stay fresh, you have to keep it fresh. You can’t just expect the newness, fun, excitement, and energy of your initial entry into marriage to last forever on its own. You have to do the work and put forth the effort to maintain those things throughout the life of your marriage, and setting goals is a great way to start.
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