Posts Tagged ‘purpose of marriage’

Quote of the Day

Thursday, October 1st, 2015

The purpose of marriage is to help God do the work in the other person’s life that God wants to have done. -Tim Keller

Purpose

Character of Marriage: Purpose

Friday, August 13th, 2010

It’s easy to get caught up in what our marriage should do for us or even what it’s not doing for us. As humans we tend to think mainly of our own well being before thinking of someone else’s. Marriage has to be more than just about our own feelings, desires, and needs. It has to be more than just about feelings. Marriage has to be about purpose.

Something I always emphasize for people in relationships contemplating whether or not the person they are with is “the one” is that they should ask themselves “Does this person bring out the best in me and me with them?” It’s a simple question, but it is an important question. Marriage is all about becoming a better person, developing Christ-like characteristics, and fulfilling our purpose in this life. It teaches us the true meaning of love, commitment, selflessness, sacrifice, grace, forgiveness, patience, caring, self control, hope, faith, work, and so much more.  It is one of the greatest opportunities for growth and development as an individual equipping us for what lies ahead.

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is a lot of work and can push us to our breaking point as we are molded into a more other-oriented, mature, Christ-like person. If we want marriage to produce those feelings of happiness and fulfillment, then we have to do our part to evoke those very things for our spouse. Marriage is more about what you put into it than what you can get out of it. If you are putting everything and then some into your marriage, what you get out of it will be far above and beyond what you originally expected or hoped for any way.

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Character of Marriage: Sustainability

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

How many times have you heard someone say that they just aren’t happy any more in their marriage, so they are walking away from it. Or how about that they have just grown apart. Or it’s just not working. I would be rich if I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that.

Marriage isn’t merely a convenience that allots us unlimited happiness and fulfillment. It’s not something you just put on auto-pilot and it is self-propelled indefinitely. It’s a relationship that requires your full attention, best foot forward, day in and day out. If you aren’t doing that of course you are just going to “grow apart” or be “unhappy.” We have lost what marriage is all about – other, not self.

Like most things in our instant-gratification, self-oriented society these days, marriage has been twisted and perverted from its original beauty and purpose. We have made it all about “me” instead of “us.” We want it to fulfill me, serve me, and keep me stocked up on those fleeting and impossible to maintain things we call feelings. While marriage can provide those things, it cannot be centered around them. Emotions are fleeting and impossible to sustain 24/7, which is why marriage must be based on more than that. Marriage was designed to be other-oriented. The Bible has several passages that are all oriented toward this concept that marriage is to build up, encourage, and strengthen our spouse. Marriage is supposed to help us learn to be more selfless and Christ-like, which requires us to do work to continually grow and develop as an individual.

When we are willing to look at the needs of our spouse and put our own self-centeredness aside, that is when we build a committed, sustainable marriage that will inevitably come back around to meet your personal needs in the end as well. Committing to our growth as an individual ultimately commits our marriage and spouse to growth. It reminds me of a tree, it starts out as a mere sapling that blows and bends in the weather being tested to its very breaking point. As it holds on and digs deeper into the ground, it begins to grow bigger, stronger, and it brings about life and a safe haven for those around it. Digging deep to grow as a person provides our spouse and family with a strong, safe haven full of life and purpose.  

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Character of Marriage: Boot Camp

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

Marriage tests our character in every way. It tests our patience, our work ethic, our willingness to forgive, our sensitivity to others, our tolerance for those different from us, our ability to cooperate, etc. Marriage is the biggest character test in life. ~ Jimmy Evans

Have you ever seen or participated in a fitness boot camp? Those things are grueling and push you to your breaking point to whip you into shape as quickly as possible. It is like being tossed into the deep end of a pool without knowing how to swim, making you figure out a way to dig down deep and sort yourself out. The thing is that after these boot camps are over, people say that it was one of the hardest yet best and most rewarding things they have ever done.

Marriage is kind of like a boot camp that whips your character into shape. We all come into marriage with baggage and all sorts of character flaws ranging from selfishness to anger. Pretty quickly we realize that something has got to give. Unfortunately a lot of people kick their marriage to the curb rather than realizing that it’s those self-seeking character flaws that need kicked to the curb. Marriage can push you to your breaking point, but if you are willing to do the hard work and dig deep, you are going to come out on the other side stronger, better, and thankful you stuck with it.

Marriage develops who we are as a person. It shaves down those rough edges and helps bring out the best version of you possible. While we may head into marriage thinking the purpose of our relationship is merely for us to be happy at all times, the reality is that happiness comes at a price. That price is the willingness to grow and develop as a person keeping your spouse’s happiness in mind. It may be painful beyond belief at times, but that is what makes the rewards of a happy & fulfilling marriage so great to savor and enjoy. Doing the work to become the best you possible leads to bringing out the best in our spouse, our marriage, our family, and our community. It’s a price worth paying.

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Character of Marriage: Introduction

Monday, August 9th, 2010

Photo Compliments of Jessica Lorren Photography

What is marriage all about? Is it just about personal fulfillment? Happiness? Passion? Companionship? While marriage can provide these things, I believe that marriage is about more than these things at its core purpose.

This week I want to take a look at what marriage is really about. What was God’s intent for the role and purpose of marriage in our life? I believe that marriage is about shaping up into the person God wants us to be. It’s kind of like a character-building boot camp where we get to work out the kinks and rough spots in who we are. It’s kind of like the Proverbs 27:17 passage that says – As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Marriage creates a unique and wonderful opportunity to become the best version of us as possible. Join me this week as I explore this topic further to find out how you can change your perspective and attitude toward marriage in a way that will not only bring out the best in you but also bring out the best in your spouse and marriage.

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