Jesus died on the cross to act as the ultimate sacrifice for all of our sins that we might have eternal life. Because of His death and resurrection, we are offered grace and forgiveness for all our sins. We are called to extend that grace and forgiveness to others.

One of the common things that occurs in marriages and relationships is this back-logged resentment. An issue comes up and suddenly a string of previous hurts, pains, and issues are brought up as well. Next thing you know, both people are sitting there bringing up everything in the past and going nowhere fast. This is why it’s so important to have a goal of resolve rather than winning. Winning means someone else is losing and usually your marriage loses too. Resolving entails listening to one another and trying to come up with a solution or at least an understanding. Beyond resolve, there needs to be an attitude of grace and forgiveness.

Many times in arguments, we tend to forget that our spouse loves us and isn’t intentionally hurting us. Both people love and care about one another, but there is something getting lost in translation. Relationships, especially marriages, need a good dose of grace and forgiveness. Grace means freely giving the other person the benefit of the doubt and choosing to show mercy and favor on them. Forgiveness is extending grace to someone and letting go of their wrongs. Forgiveness is a gift that we give ourselves as much as we give the other person because it offers us freedom from dwelling on and reliving the pain of a hurt. Marriages need grace and forgiveness. It’s not about winning, retaliation, getting even, or making sure the other person knows how it feels. It’s about healing our marriage and freely offering up grace and forgiveness to them. Just think about how much you need grace and forgiveness at times and realize that your spouse needs that as well. If we don’t extend it, then how can we expect to receive it? We all need grace & forgiveness from God, from our spouse, from ourselves, and for our family & friends, which is why we must learn to extend it to those same people. Grace and forgiveness in a marriage are the medicine and bandages that provide miraculous healing.

The Bible gives us many examples of grace, and I thought I would close with a few glimpses at those:

• “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9
• “Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” ~John 1: 17
• “For it is by grace that you are saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” ~Ephesians 2:8
• “Let your conversation be always full of grace…” ~Colossians 4:6
• “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” ~Hebrews 4:16

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