Posts Tagged ‘wife’

Talking Tuesday

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

TalkingTuesday

Share your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:

What cologne or perfume do you and your spouse/significant other wear?

I’ll get us started …

Did you know that your olfactory system has one of the strongest memory associations? Meaning scents carry with them memories and ties to people and places. It’s amazing how our sense of smell can transport us and orient us. So, for me, when I get a waft of Nautica or Acqua di Gio, I immediately think of my husband because that’s what he wears. For me, I typically have on Viva La Juicy, or currently I’ve been wearing Coach Poppy. Steve and I have this thing though where we buy a new scent before we go on a big trip, like our Italy and Greece excursion. That way from that point on, whenever we smell that scent, we are whisked off to memories from that trip. It’s a fun thing that we started on our honeymoon, and we love it!

Okay, it’s your turn!

Talking Tuesday Weekly Announcement REVISED

If you have a question you would like to see asked in our weekly Talking Tuesday discussions, we want to know what it is! Just contact us with your idea!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Talking Tuesday

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

TalkingTuesday

Share your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:

How have you seen the importance of marriage in your own life?

I’ll get us started …

Growing up in a home where my parents stayed married and committed to one another, I couldn’t imagine having it any other way. My parents were my anchor growing up. Though they had their arguments and rough spots, they persevered, and I can see now, as an adult, how influential and necessary that was in my life. Having that strong and steady marriage as an example was the foundation of my life from my faith to the pursuit of my dreams to how I related to others.

Now I am married myself, and I have a different perspective on marriage … a firsthand one. Having my husband by my side is, again, like an anchor in my life. I know that I never have to face the good or bad alone. I have a best friend, co-pilot, fellow adventurer, lover, and confidant. Daily I see God’s grace and goodness through my husband. To have someone to pray for me, love me, and keep me accountable is such an indescribable blessing. Marriage has refined me and continues to teach me so much about who I am, who I want to be, who God wants me to be. It’s the thrill of a lifetime and truly the foundation of my life.

Okay, it’s your turn!

Congratulations to our July Talking Tuesday winner … Sheri! Keep your comments coming everyone! We love hearing from you, and each month there’s another winner 🙂

Talking Tuesday Weekly Announcement REVISED

If you have a question you would like to see asked in our weekly Talking Tuesday discussions, we want to know what it is! Just contact us with your idea!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Talking Tuesday

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013

TalkingTuesday

Share your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:

What do you wish your spouse understood about you, your wants, needs, etc.?

I’ll get us started …

My husband is incredible, and I thank God every day for the man that he is! That being said, he is human (as am I), and there are times where I get frustrated wishing he thought the way I did (even though I know that’s the beauty of marriage). One thing I wish Steve understood about me (and I know a lot of you women out there are going to shout a, “Hallelujah!” at this one) is that I don’t want him to fix my “problems” and pains by in large but to enter into them. To sit with me in a rough moment I’m having and just hold me. Or when I’m crying because of something that’s hurt me to have him genuinely empathize and “hurt” with me. Granted, I love that my husband is a man so I don’t want him to quite be the emotional mess that I can be from time to time, but it’s just that deep connection that comes when someone “gets it” and genuinely feels with you.

Okay, it’s your turn!

Talking Tuesday Weekly Announcement REVISED

If you have a question you would like to see asked in our weekly Talking Tuesday discussions, we want to know what it is! Just contact us with your idea!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Quote of the Day

Thursday, July 11th, 2013

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. –Proverbs 18:22

Wedding

Talking Tuesday

Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

TalkingTuesday

Share your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:

Is your spouse at all like your Mom or Dad? Why or why not?

I’ll get us started …

My husband, Steve, is very different from my dad. While I love my dad to pieces, Steve is a lot of the things I always wanted my dad to be. He’s very playful and funny, and he’s always up for a new adventure big or small. He’s extremely patient, never grumbles, and is always ready to lend a helping hand happily. Steve is super outgoing and loves being around people, which is great since I do too.  Also, Steve is very athletic and loves sports. These are all pretty opposite from my dad. On the flip side though, my dad is super handy and can fix anything, and let’s just say, Steve isn’t so “fix-it” inclined or interested.

What they do share is a love for the Lord and a love for their families. Both my dad and Steve are hard workers. They are both full of integrity, and I trust them completely. Honestly, I’ve never met two men who are more incredible, and I have such an unbelievable amount of respect for both of them as they are truly blessings in my life!

Okay, it’s your turn!

Talking Tuesday Weekly Announcement REVISED

If you have a question you would like to see asked in our weekly Talking Tuesday discussions, we want to know what it is! Just contact us with your idea!

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Noteworthy: Dry Bones

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

By Ashley McIlwain

A couple of weeks ago, I was able to attend the amazing leadership conference, Catalyst West. It was an epic event that was chock-full of incredibly inspiring speakers, music, and fellowship. I laughed, I cried, and I grew in countless ways. At the end of the three days, I felt inspired, enriched, and excited by everything I had the privilege of soaking in.

One of my favorite parts was the discovery of a band I hadn’t heard of before. It was love at first sound. They are this unique and entrancing combination of gypsy meets soul, and the words to their songs obviously flow from the depths of their souls. It’s music that finds its way into your spirit and pours out of your heart.

This band is called Gungor, and if you can’t tell, they’ve won me over. One of my favorite parts about Gungor is that the heart of the band is a husband/wife duo … bonus! While I’m head-over-heels for almost every one of their songs, there are two that just get me every time – Dry Bones and Beautiful Things. Ultimately though, the big winner is Dry Bones. I’m not exaggerating when I say I listen to it at least five times a day. I know, I know … I probably shouldn’t admit to this kind of obsessiveness, but I can’t help it. There’s just something about it that gets into my bones (cheesy pun, but I had to do it because it’s true).

Relevant Magazine did a video of this song with them and the ridiculously cool and talented Kevin “K.O.” Olusola on cello/beat boxing (you read right) that rocks. So check it out, leave a comment letting me know what you think, and purchase the song or album.

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

 

Fun For Two

Friday, January 6th, 2012

By Ashley McIlwain

My husband, Steve, and I travel around quite a bit trying to visit with our families that happen to be spread across the United States. While we love visiting our families, it can be challenging to save vacation time, energy, and money to go and do things that we want to do outside of those trips. What we’ve tried to do though is combine the two when possible.

Over Christmas we did just that. It was our turn to visit with Steve’s family up in the bay area, so we managed to squeeze in a few extra little “just the two of us” moments where we could. It made for a very busy Christmas vacation, but we loved every second of it.

First on the list was to head into San Francisco for a quick day trip. It’s tough to beat a big city during Christmas time. The decorations, bustle, and overall cheer makes me giddy with excitement. We enjoyed all of our favorite spots including Union Square, Fisherman’s Wharf, and Pier 39. Of course we had to hop on the trolleys a time or two, which is always a highlight of being in San Fran.

Also on the agenda this trip was checking out the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory. It turned out to be a tiny, hole-in-the-wall, four person operation. Not only were we amazed at this spectacle, but we took advantage of devouring fresh, flat fortune cookies. All around, we loved exploring one of our favorite cities during the most wonderful time of year.

At the end of our visit with Steve’s family, we decided to take a stroll down memory lane by cruising down the 101. We took this gorgeous, California coastal drive for the first time on our engagement trip back in 2007, and we hadn’t done it since. It was so much fun exploring some new and old places along the way.

Our first stop was Santa Cruz. We decided to hit up The Mystery Spot. I’d heard of this place and certainly seen the well-known bumper stickers, so we just had to check it out. It was definitely interesting to experience the gravitational oddities and hypothesize as to what might be the cause. At the end of it all though, we were left with an unsolved mystery … spot.

After being mystified, we checked out the Santa Cruz boardwalk, which is a cool hybrid of beach meets carnival meets arcade. Candy, rollercoasters, and scenic views made for an amusing afternoon together. We followed that up by revisiting the gorgeous, breathtaking spot where Steve proposed to me. It’s tough to even describe the picturesque scene that stirs up so many wonderful memories from the second most incredible day of my life (next to our wedding day, of course). There’s nothing like revisiting somewhere that is so special to you as a couple. I highly recommend everyone doing this from time to time.

Onward we pressed to Monterey. Monterey is such an adorable place; it’s one of my favorite California locations. We started off our day at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which was a real treat. You can’t go wrong with jellyfish, sea otters, and seahorses. Next we took a stroll along the Monterey Fisherman’s Wharf. It’s the perfect place to go for a hand-in-hand stroll and some of the freshest saltwater taffy you’ll ever gobble up.

Finally, we made a point of heading to Buellton where we gorged on the famous Anderson’s split pea soup. Yum! After a good night’s rest, we launched the final stretch home by first stopping at our favorite breakfast spot, Paula’s Pancake House in Solvang. Their pancakes are divine to say the very least.

All in all, there is nothing quite like a little fun for two with my hubs. Making memories together is priceless. I treasure our adventures together, knowing that these moments are what make life’s journey worthwhile. What a blessing it is to have my husband be my best friend that I enjoy being with and love so very much!

Anyone else have any recent fun excursions, memory-making, or stories they want to share?

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Honey, I’m Home! Part 2

Friday, January 28th, 2011

In Honey, I’m Home! Part 1, I talked mainly to the ladies about the value of respecting, loving, affirming, and appreciating their guy. Part 2 is for the guys and how they can display their love and appreciation to their lady.

When my husband walks in the door after a long day (for both of us), there is nothing quite like the flash of his smile and the warmth of his embrace. I know that he too has been looking forward to this moment all day long. There is something so endearing and exhilarating about the love I feel from my husband when he gets home and is excited to see me.

Feeling love is central to a woman’s existence. Knowing that she is cherished, appreciated, and cared for are all important, but those are all wrapped up into that core desire and need that woman so desperately crave – love. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (italics added for emphasis). How instrumental this verse is in cluing both men and women into the needs of one another. Men, your woman needs you to love her like you love yourself.

At the end of the day, you may be feeling less than thrilled at the thought of coming home and giving your wife your best. The pressures and stress of the day weigh you down, and all you can think about is getting changed, grabbing dinner, and turning on your beloved television. After all, you’ve earned it, right? While we all need a little relaxation at the end of a long day, I would encourage you to go against your natural tendency. You may think you home is your safe haven, but it is your wife and marriage that are the safe haven. Try to look forward to coming home to your wife, not just to your home.

This means that when you walk in the door, you don’t shut down for the day as if your job is done, but rather, when you turn on your mind, heart, and body to give your best to your wife (and family). Jobs are jobs. They pay the bills, and they are a necessary part of life. Your wife, marriage, and family, are what life is really all about. Your marriage is like the greatest “work” project ever where you are your own boss, get the best pay-offs and dividends, and you get to be as creative as you want. This is a fun opportunity that is worth its weight in gold. It is tempting to think your marriage can function on fumes, but the reality is that you are going to find it off on the side of the road, broken down if you don’t maintain it. That means putting time, energy, and love into it.

One of my favorite things that my husband does for me is he sends me little emails throughout the day to let me know he is thinking of me. He almost always closes them out letting me know how he cannot wait to get home to me. Sigh. I can almost hear my love tank filling up. Something so little as that line makes me feel so special, desired, and loved. You see, I am already so excited to see him, but to know that he feels the same way means everything to me.

Guys, your lady desperately needs to know that you love her! You may think, “Well, I told her I loved her a few months ago. Surely she knows I love her by now.” It is not about her just knowing that you love her; it’s about you showing her you love her daily. That means telling her that you love her, repeatedly. That means doing thoughtful things for her. That means listening to her talk through her days, thoughts, and feelings. That means leaving her love notes. That means taking her out on dates. That means pursuing her. That means doing things around the house that help her out. That means putting her at the very top of your priority list. There are a billion ways for you to display your love to her; it is up to you to be intentional about doing just that.

Still not convinced? Alright, how many of you dated before you got married? You took your wife out on dates, picked up flowers here and there, listened to her, talked with her, spent every possible second together, and did things you knew she liked. As a result, she fell in love with and you guys got married. Hmm. Now that you are married, you don’t think any of that is necessary because you already put in your fair share of work? Wrong! Marriage is when the real work begins. If you want to maintain that love, attention, and respect you received from her before you got married after you get married, then you have to do those same things you did when you were dating. Too many times guys complain that their girl is totally different from when they were dating. Part of that is exiting the infatuation stage where everyone is on their best behavior, but the other part is she’s probably struggling with the fact that you don’t put in nearly as much effort to the relationship and to her as you did when you were dating. It goes both ways. Plain and simple, you cannot expect your wife to feel fulfilled, beautiful, desired, and respectful of you if you are not putting in the necessary time and effort.

Nobody is saying it is easy, but it is necessary. An easy way to show your love is by walking in that door at the end of the day and greeting your wife with a huge smile, hug, and a kiss. Tell her how much you love her and have looked forward to seeing her all day. Maybe pepper in a few things you appreciate about her and her hard work. Guys, this is going to work magic – trust me! Other things you can do: walk in holding a bouquet of her favorite flowers, come in and join her in making dinner, call her earlier in the day to tell her you have dinner taken care of, opt to ask her about her day without turning on the TV or tuning out. The options are endless, but it just takes giving it a little thought.

Men, you are so important in your wife’s life. She needs you and wants nothing more than to have you love her. Love her like she is the most beautiful, wonderful, and amazing woman on the face of the earth. If you can work at showing and communicating that to her every day in one way or another, you will end up a very happy, fulfilled, loved, and respected man with a marriage that is the talk of the town. Trust me when I say, it is worth every ounce of your effort.

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Honey, I’m Home! Part 1

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

Photo compliments of Jessica Lorren Photography

After a long day of work, I often dread the time and effort needed to attempt to make a delicious meal for dinner. Last night, as I mustered up the energy to start thinking about making a meal, I was struck by a profound notion. Making dinner is about more than placing a culinary concoction on a plate.

My efforts in the kitchen are an opportunity to express my love and gratitude to my husband. You see, my husband, Steve, works really hard at his job making sure to give it his all so that he is a blessing to his company as well as a provider for our home. He never complains about having to work, is always so diligent, and still comes home and works just as hard, if not harder, at being an amazing husband to me.

Those things may seem somewhat ordinary, but the reality is that they are not. The effort Steve puts in at his work, as a provider, and then at home as a husband is not something to be taken for granted. Often times I get so caught up in how hard I work that I forget that he too is working away day in and day out.

As I was dredging the chicken, I began pondering all of this and thought about how many of us ladies forget to express our appreciation and gratitude for all the amazing things our husbands do. We forget that our man needs to come home to an appreciative and loving wife. It really means more to him than you can imagine.

My husband always tells me how much he looks forward to getting home. It is incredibly touching to hear that coming home to me is what gets him through his days. It is an emotional reminder of how important we are in one another’s life. How important it is for us women to be awaiting our man’s arrival home with a warm greeting of arms wide open, a smile on our faces, and kind words of affirmation.

 Women underestimate the importance of welcoming their husband home. So often I hear of women who greet their husband at the door with a laundry list of complaints, undone to do’s, and an overall angry countenance. Or just as bad, they don’t greet their husband at all. Ladies, while perhaps imperfect at times, your husband is the man of your house. He thrives on being honored and respected. It is your job to make your home a safe haven for him to escape the world’s stresses and Satan’s fiery darts that have been beating on him all day long.  

The Bible clues us in to what a husband needs. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (italics added for emphasis). Bingo! The very Creator of men and women gives us one of the greatest keys to unlocking a successful marriage. While you may be tempted to focus on the part about men loving their wives, try to focus on what your role is. Success marriages do not entail two individuals who are looking for how his/her spouse can serve him/her but rather how he/she can serve his/her spouse. That is what I am asking you to do – take a giant step toward your husband and respect him. I guarantee you will see major changes in your marriage.

One of the leading reasons for men having an affair as reported in study after study is men feeling disrespected in their home. Most men report that they felt worthless, disrespected, and of no value to their wives. (Cue Satan’s clever and timely antics) At the same time, that secretary or co-worker begins to dote on him telling him how handsome, wonderful, and hard-working he is. Your husband now begins to feel the way you once made him feel with someone else. She is telling him everything he desperately wants to hear from you, and soon things escalate into a misplaced and misguided sexual affair. It all stemmed from a lack of affirmation and respect from his wife.

Ladies, this is a wake-up call! If you do not affirm your husband, respect him, and show him the affirmation he so desperately needs, some other girl will. Of course, this is not an excuse for men to go out and have extramarital affairs! Each individual must be responsible for his/her actions and put in the necessary effort and energy to safeguard their marriage while remaining committed and faithful to their vows, marriage, spouse, and family. That being said, this is a giant, flashing red light telling you how vital it is for you to let your husband know how important, loved, and appreciated he really is.  

In Genesis 2:18, the “Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.’” In case you were wondering if your man needs you, here is your answer – a resounding, “YES!” Men need women and vice versa. God knew that men needed a “helper,” which is why he blessed them with the gift of women. Women, we are to be a helper, not a hindrance. We are to be a blessing, not a curse. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). You were designed to be a blessing and helper for your husband, so fulfill that calling and purpose on your life.

This is not to say that you can never have a bad day, be hurt, or share your concerns with your husband. I am not saying that your husband is perfect. And, I am not saying that you should do back flips every time he gets home. This is also not something for men to hold over their wife’s head – “If you don’t respect me, then I will have no choice but to …” What I am saying though is: while a man may not always know how to express it, he really needs the support, love, respect, and honor of his wife. It is the thing that strengthens, encourages, and uplifts him. It is what helps them ward off the temptations that await his every day when out there in the world. It is the joy, value, and love he longs to feel. It is the thing that makes him feel like he can take on the world headfirst. You are extremely important to him. How you speak, act, and think about him really does matter and make or break your relationship.

As I finished up my chicken parmigiana over angel hair pasta with homemade bruschetta on fresh French bread, I realized that I was making more than a dinner. I felt the joy well up inside of me that I had this opportunity to make my husband a delicious dinner to come home to. Suddenly this wasn’t a chore; it was an honor to be a blessing to this man that is such a blessing in my life, to show my love and appreciation to him, and to be a helper to my husband.

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.

Power of Prayer: For the Wife

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

Women, we are given the natural ability to nurture and love. We are designed to be supportive to our husbands. They need to feel respected just as we need to feel loved. The Bible has a few verses to help guide us in our natural roles as women.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ~Ephesians 5:22-23

The wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians 5:33

Wives have the unique ability to support their husbands with love and respect. Here is a prayer I wrote (and say every night) that I thought would help wives in the journey to honor, respect, and support their husbands. Feel free to add to it anything that specifically pertains to you and your marriage.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being a loving Savior that cares about me and my marriage. Thank you for your grace and provision in my day to day life. I especially want to thank you for my husband. I thank you for blessing me with a wonderful man who loves you and loves me. He is your Creation, and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to care for him during our lifetime. His worth is beyond words, and I pray that each day I am able to show him the love and respect he deserves. Help me to allow him to lead me. Help me to show him honor and respect. Keep me faithful, loving, supportive, and caring. Allow me to be the perfect helpmate for him as we journey through life together. Help me to be the wife you designed me to be. Strengthen our marriage daily and provide us with wisdom and strength to withstand the tests and obstacles of life. Thank you Lord for my precious husband and for our marriage. Thank you that we can come to you with anything; you are amazing, and I love you. In your precious name, Amen.

*To comment on this entry, simply click on the “no comment” link in blue just below the post (if someone has already commented, you will see a number instead of “no” in front of “comment”). Fill out the form that pops up. Your name & email are not required. Once you have entered your comment, click on the “Submit a Comment,” and it will appear once it is approved for posting.