Talking Tuesday
Share your thoughts, feelings, and stories as well as respond to others regarding these questions:
What do you think the general attitude toward and outlook on marriage is?
I’ll get us started …
From my personal experience, the general attitude toward marriage is a negative one. It seems a lot of people have lost hope and faith in the possibility of having a lifelong marriage. TV shows, movies, and magazines paint this picture that marriage is some sort of death sentence. Wives are constantly portrayed as these controlling nags that their husbands can’t stand, and husbands are apparently a bunch of sports-obsessed meatheads that can’t control themselves when it comes to women they’re not married to. It’s not looking good out there for married people according to the world.
Fortunately for my husband and me, we have found that the general perception and outlook on marriage is a lie. Marriage is what you make of it. If you put the time, effort, love, work, and sacrifice into it that it requires, you will reap the wonderful rewards.
We’ve also made sure to surround ourselves with other couples that love each other and being married. We find it to be necessary, refreshing, and a great way to spur our own marriage on. So, while the world screams at us that marriage is the end-all to happiness, we choose to listen to and project our own counter-cultural message that marriage rocks!
Okay, it’s your turn!
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April 17th, 2012 at 5:39 pm
I know many who seek out to find ” The One” or “that magical feeling” and when those feelings fade and they realize their prince is really a toad, they think that they have married the “wrong one” and feel that they have made an error in judgement. They will keep seeking to find “That one”
Then there are those who think, why should I get married. They live together have children together and do not feel that there is any reason to be married.
I think really it is a reflection of society as a whole and their rejection of God’s word and His plan for our lives.
I feel that as a christian it should cause me to stop and repent and ask forgiveness for my own failure in reaching out to my community and helping others to know God’s word on the matter.
April 25th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Vicki, you bring up an important point: that it’s our responsibility as Christians to know God’s Word regarding marriage and then be a representative of that for others to reference. If we want a great marriage, all we have to do is look to its Creator, and invite Him into our marriage during the good and bad times. Thanks for sharing!
April 17th, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I think marriage is certainly a beautiful part of God’s design to draw husband and wife closer to each other and to Him. Sadly, our society has a rather dimmed view of it, with many calling it “prison” and “unnecessary”. Yet, marriage is a glorious and beautiful thing, and is a wonderful act of selflessness and commitment, and is very much a reflection of Jesus and His love for us.
April 25th, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Brandi, what a great and true description of marriage! The fact that marriage was designed by God and is to be a reflection of Christ’s love for us should be motivation enough to work really hard at representing Him well! Thanks for joining the conversation!
April 17th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Marriage is a gift from God and it changes everything if we look to Him. He is the giver of life and lifter of your heads. I pray about everything in my marriage even the fights, spending money,on and on… It makes all the difference in the world. Some know this and honor Him, I call on Him for input and help!
April 17th, 2012 at 11:42 am
Linda, marriage is absolutely a gift from God! Prayer in marriage is so powerful and yet, sadly underutilized by many couples. It’s refreshing and encouraging to know that you are fully utilizing it in your marriage! Thanks so much for joining the conversation!
April 17th, 2012 at 9:14 am
I think generally, the outlook is that it’s fine until the feelings fade, and once they do, that means it’s time to get out.
For my own marriage personally, we’ve been through a lot of rocky things in a very short time, but we held on as hard as we could, and we’re still here.
April 17th, 2012 at 11:41 am
Erika, unfortunately, I think you are absolutely right. Too many marriages are based on feelings rather than the choice to commit to the marriage for life. Feelings come and go, but our commitment should never waver. I commend you and your husband for fighting through the tough times and holding on to your marriage. You will never regret that decision, and I pray that you soon seen brighter days where you reap the rewards of your hard work and dedication! Thanks for sharing!
April 17th, 2012 at 9:00 am
I agree. People these days don’t take the time to get to know one another before they jump into marriage. They figure if it doesn’t work well get a divorce. It’s so frustrating to see all of these young people living this way. Marriage is about love commitment and also sacrifice. I think that we would see less divorce if people would take a little more time to get to know each other first. You need to move past the I love you everything you do is perfect stage first and then see if the feeling is still there. If they are not them move on God didn’t want you to be together. If they do stay together they still need to know it is going to be some work because nothing is perfect. Because of marriage gets a bad rap.
It is also hard when our government seems to punish the people who are trying to live life right and get married and have families, and rewards people for being unmarried and having children. I love my husband and we have both said it’s not right how this happens. We have friends that say why get married, when we can make more money and pay fewer taxes if we just live together and have kids and never marry. It is like our government is punishing the people with good morals and rewarding the others. If you are willing to work at it your marriage can be a great thing not perfect but close to it with faith in God and each other and a lot of love and compromise.
April 17th, 2012 at 11:39 am
Brandy, thanks for joining the conversation! It’s definitely important for couples to take the time to get beyond what is commonly referred to as the “infatuation stage” where couples are blind to the realities of the relationship. Many people jump the gun with marriage because of the “in love” feelings, but they don’t adequately assess whether the relationship is really the best fit and choice for marriage, which is meant to be a lifelong vow and commitment. And yes, there are a lot of things, like the government, that aren’t out there promoting healthy marriages. A strong, lifelong marriage is becoming more and more of a counter-cultural concept, which is why we’ve got to fight that much harder for our marriages. Like you said, we’ve got to be willing to work at it and place our faith in God.
April 17th, 2012 at 8:24 am
You said it just about right. These days, our society sees it two ways a) something you do once you’ve “had all your fun” or b) a way to feel complete and get your needs met. Marriage is neither of these things.
Like you said, it’s about sacrifice, time, and effort. I see marriage as a) selfless-service and b) a ministry in which you minister to your spouse and the world. It is then that you reap the wonderful reward of marriage.
And the reward is oh so sweet. =)
April 17th, 2012 at 11:33 am
Arsena, thanks for kicking off the conversation! You are right on with both how you think society views marriage but also how you see marriage. It’s true that marriage is a ministry to our spouse and to the world. Great stuff!