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Do you and your spouse, family, and/or friends have any fun summer plans on the horizon?
I’ll get us started …
Steve and I are heading to Virginia this month for my sister’s college graduation, and we are super excited about it! It was a long-term goal for my sister to complete her degree, and she did it with flying colors. We are so proud of her, and it’s going to be absolutely incredible to have the whole family together to celebrate her accomplishment!
Other than that, we have a bit more of a subdued travel schedule this summer than normal, but I am sure we will do plenty of fun, local things to make memories. We rarely sit still for very long, so I doubt this summer will be an exception to that rule. Summer is always a fun time, so I’m looking forward to what we can get into J
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Congratulations to our April Talking Tuesday giveaway winner … Lauren L.! We love hearing from you all, so please keep joining our weekly discussion to get entered to WIN this month’s giveaway!
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I may not be considered among the old and wise yet, but I have experienced quite a bit in my rather brief life up until this point. Oftentimes I feel as though I am somewhat of an “old soul” because of the things I have been through, learned, and experienced. While I still have a long way to go, there is one thing I have discovered to be true: life is a journey that requires patience, grace, and love. And love itself requires the most patience and grace of all of life’s journeys.
In our western culture, we often demand and expect instant gratification. Most products and services cater to our crazy, hectic, and busy lifestyles on the go, and we’ve come to mandate nothing less. Unfortunately, that mentality has spilled over into our marriages, families, and relationships. We want a self-serving, drive-thru, instant gratification kind of life, but that’s the opposite of what relationships require.
Love needs nurturing and patience. It is a marathon not a sprint. Slowly it blossoms and grows establishing deeper, stronger roots all the while. The more we love it and care for it, the stronger and more radiant it becomes. This requires patience, endurance, and determination. All of the blood, sweat, and tears though are well worth it because the rewards of a true and lasting love and marriage far outweigh any of life’s other offerings.
There’s a song that I think captures the ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and patience that love requires. It talks of the journey of determination, grace, endurance, and perseverance in a beautiful, unwavering way. Honestly, I adore this song and its captivating lyrics about a bold yet tender and tenacious love and just know you will too. It’s called I Won’t Give Upby Jason Mraz.
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Who do you go to when you need relationship advice?
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I think this is a super important question to ask for several reasons. One is that your inner circle has a lot of influence, and you want to make sure that it is influencing you in a good way. The other reason is that you need to protect your marriage. Sometimes when we share with family members about issues with our spouse, we tend to forget that they don’t forgive and forget quite as easily as we do, so it’s important to use discretion in the amount that’s shared with them in order to protect those relationships and your marriage.
For me, I do seek the counsel of my family – my mom, dad, and sisters – although I keep things very general and usually frame it in a way that is an “us” issue. I don’t just vent with my family; I choose very specific times that I need solid advice, wisdom, and prayer. My best friend Di is the other person I frequent most often for advice. She is an amazing, trustworthy, Christian friend who has been an incredible sounding board. She values and loves my husband too (our husbands are besties), and she is always pushing me back toward him and our marriage in her advice, which is so important. In every situation though, I am seeking God’s wisdom and guidance through prayer!
Okay, it’s your turn!
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What are some of your favorite Easter traditions?
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Easter is one of my favorite holidays because of the message of hope and freedom attached to it. Knowing that Jesus died on the cross for our sins but then defeated death through His resurrection giving us life, forgiveness, and the reconciliation to God that we could never have earned or deserved … so powerful! Easter is certainly a reason to celebrate and rejoice, and that we do!
Since Steve and I rarely get to be with our families during Easter, we love to take it as an opportunity to open up our home to others who can’t be with their families either. After attending Easter service at our church, I make a huge feast of ham, candied yams, egg noodles in ham broth, rolls, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and some yummy desserts, which is reminiscent of the feasts my mom made growing up. We bust out the china and crystal, like Steve grew up with his family doing, and we host a big afternoon of fellowship.
It always makes me think of the Last Supper, and how Jesus valued fellowship and relationships. I love getting to serve others and let them know they are loved. Holidays, like Easter, are a wonderful opportunity to reach out in love and kindness and open our hearts and homes.
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How do you personally deal with disappointment in your life? Specifically when people disappoint you?
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To be honest, it’s tough for me when people disappoint me. I feel hurt, betrayed, and angry. My natural tendency is to just walk away wounded and guarded. A big part of me just wants to avoid ever being hurt or disappointed again which can only lead to isolation and loneliness. I’ve come to realize that we all disappoint people from time to time. I’m just as guilty as the next even though that would never be my intention. So, if I’m hoping to never be disappointed, I will be disappointed to discover that’s not realistic.
It would be really nice to never feel the sadness and rejection that disappointment brings, but that’s just part of life. For me, I’ve learned to dust myself off, pray for the grace to forgive, and be more cognizant of how I can learn from the experience in a constructive and healthy way. This is a work in progress I might add. Sometimes it’s easier said than done.
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What are some of your favorite date night plans?
I’ll get us started …
I love all sorts of date nights with my sweet hubs, and we’re always looking for something new and fun to do. At the same time, there’s nothing quite like a night in together. While I love all of our dates, two are jumping out at me as I’m writing this. The first is going to an amusement park together. Where we live we have Universal Park, Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, and Six Flags Magic Mountain all close by, so we’ve got options. I love the fun, youthful atmosphere of an amusement park. Screaming and holding on tightly to your sweetie as you loop around on a roller coaster. Having your man try to win you some cheesy and completely unnecessary prize at a rigged and nearly impossible game. Sharing some cotton candy and an extra-large soda. What’s not to love?
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, I absolutely love a night in shnuggled up with my husband under a cozy blanket with the fireplace flickering its warm glow about the room and a glass of wine. Oh and a good movie playing too. It’s romantic, relaxing, and perfectly idyllic.
Alright, alright … enough of me. I want to hear some of your fun, cute, creative ideas!
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Most of us have been in a relationship at some point in our life where we felt unappreciated, unloved, and undesired. Rather than being wooed and affirmed, you’re left convincing the person to love you and see that you are valuable, precious, and worthy of being treated with respect. It’s lonely, painful, and damaging.
I was definitely in a relationship like this before, and I had nearly lost all faith in the existence of my “fairytale.” It wasn’t that I was looking for perfection or unrealistic, but I had always hoped for and believed in finding someone that I loved and adored and who felt the same way about me. My best friend that adventured through life with me. Someone to laugh, cry, and just be with through all of life’s turns and swerves. That person that pushes you to your full potential while supporting you in a loving embrace. This vision and dream was but a mere flicker at one point because of the relationship I had subjected myself to.
Then, I met my husband. Quickly my flicker became a flame, and I found that all of my hopes and dreams for a lifetime partner were not only realized but exceeded. What a treasure and blessing it is to find the one that your heart loves. That person who makes you dream, hope, anticipate, strive, and believe.
There’s a song by Taylor Swift off of her latest album, Red, that always stirs gratitude within me. I’m reminded of the brokenness and loneliness I once felt and the excitement and joy that my husband brought me when he came into my life. The song is called Begin Again, and it’s a message of hope. Hope that love exists and that, if you’re willing to be patient, diligent, and wise, someone who is deserving will come into your life.
I will leave you with this thought: God wants the best for you. Sometimes we settle and compromise for less than that, but God wants you to have faith in His plans for your life. ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11). If you’re struggling, questioning, wondering, or searching, take it to your Heavenly Father. Whether it seems like it or not, He cares, is listening, and working on your behalf.
Let me know what you think of the song and, well, anything else you might have on your mind.
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What is the biggest hindrance to you and your spouse spending quality time together?
I’ll get us started …
Like many of you I’m sure, the biggest hindrance to me and Steve spending quality time together is the busyness of our lives. Between work, friends, family, church, volunteering, maintaining our home, and other commitments, it can be tough to carve out time just to be together. Usually by the time we’re done running all around and doing everything we need to, we’re both wiped out emotionally, physically, and mentally anyway. We really have to be intentional about creating the time, space, and energy to care for one another and nurture our marriage.
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